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Showing posts with label my theory. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my theory. Show all posts

March 18, 2012

small emotional piece of travelling and travellers

Its really tough to describe human emotions in writing. I've never written about these chemical reactions of our complex brain (atleast that's how science defines emotions).
Now when I am struggling to find appropriate words, I can't imagine how likes of Paulo Coelho and Eric Segal write their stuff.


A few days back I was reading a travel blog and I said to myself that "omg! she is correct with every word".
When we travel or meet a traveler we make instant connections in just a few days which nearly impossible in our daily life. Where we see the same faces while commuting or working but never take efforts to grow this superficial relation into something more than acquaintance. There is something extra-ordinary about human interactions made while travelling.
And when I say travelers, I dont mean tourists. Tourists have their judgements  and opinions  glued to their eyes and brains. While a traveler creates an opinion after seeing your city through your eyes and listening to your opinions. They don't travel for only sightseeing rather they travel for an experience.


Somewhere around mid of january this year I was bored as hell with my life. The same boring college routine, movie or eating out with friends over weekends. A very monotonous life.
Then I came to know about couchsurfing and I am not exaggerating if I say that it changed my perception of life. (No kidding, it really did)
I had been making a goa plan since January last year, but each of the time one of my friends has been cancelling it out of some reasons. On the night of 20th jan, we were having a party in my apartment. Obviously I was high and then out of nowhere someone said,
              "hey! you should go to goa."
               - totally, someone else replied.
And I said "yeah, it would be fun if I go alone, without any of my asshole friends (yup, they are). That way I'll meet new people and explore more."
Next thing I know is, I was on internet booking tickets. Around 4AM, when everybody went to sleep I was splashing cold water on my face so that I don't miss my early morning train. In the mean time I sent a couch request to Mr. Harbans Sharna. By that time, little did i know that this experience was going to change me. In and out.


I met some nice people on the train, still remember that Punjabi guy and his thick punjabi-hindi accent. The way he was offering sweets to everyone saying I've got a job in Goa, very innocent chap.
That photography group and the dance we had on the moving train (like a slice out of bollywood movies) over few songs on their loud (too loud, wait a sec it was excessively loud) laptop.
Then waking up to the mountain range of 'western ghats' passing by the window. I thanked heavens for not taking an AC ticket and settling with a sleeper class. Green mountains and rivers with crystal clear water, AHH!! never seen anything like this in north India.
And the crazy long tunnels- amazing. 
Walking off the train at Thivim station, I could really feel the warmth and freshness of goan air unlike Delhi. First thing I did was to buy a polybag with "MOKEMBO KHUS HUA" printed on it. (only an Indian can understand its worth). Rented a scooter, switched on gps and i was on my way to Harbans's place. Where I was introduced to Atsu (actually Atitshu Morita) an accounted from Japan, who had a moment of truth, left his job and set off to see the world.
When tsunami hit Japan last year, he was working and felt the quake. When he checked the news, thousands had died in few moments and that made him think about what is he doing- sitting on a desk daily, spending hours of his life and he could die too. Any moment in a similar accident so, he thought he should not wait and just do what pleases him in the moment.
There-only I met Tom & Kit, from England and we had nice bonding. We used to talk politics, economy, history, religion..practically everything for hours. I took my first ever ferry ride with them (yeah 1st ever) when sun was  about to touch the water. A very special moment for my life. We went to the bird sanctuary, sat on the rocks  in mid of a swamp and saw sunset while we had joints. I will never forget those relaxed and calm moments.
I met Bruno and Yusti  and their idea of travel. Whenever I asked what's the plan, the said "plan, is to have no plan. we like Goa so, we are staying here till we like'


I went to Goa for three days and stayed for twelve, only because of those amazing people I met . Not to forget Dan (the drinking and party master), Yammur (very friendly, and beautiful girl from Turkey), Adrian (Irish chili eater), Mischal (slovakian traveler,  intellligent guy), Anasta(ukranian photo-film enthusiast). Ah!! and the dog in harbans's society.
And many more people.


Now comes the worst part, saying goodbyes (the emotional part). U already know that they will  be with you for only a couple of days, still you cant help feeling like 'keeping them beside you' (selfish and emotions). Saying goodbye to Atsu, Tom and Kit on the same night was really heart rending. In simple words emotionally heavy. We  have opened up really well like old friends. It was strange to go back to harbans's place, now I was the only surfer. From six to one. The house felt empty, there was nothing to do. So, I went to the beach, spent two days with Bruno, Yammur and Dan. Finally I said goodbye to them and to Goa.
Journey back was like a high tide in my mind. Emotions. thoughts and future prospective were churning. And when you are alone emotions do amplify. I really thought in deep about my future and I must confess that I have changed a lot, on emotional and personal level, after my Goa trip. And it really shook the base of my future plans. My priorities have shifted, lets hope its for a greater good and god (whom I not so believe in) has a plan for me.


Back in Delhi I hosted quite a few people, enjoyed their company and connected well. I liked the Bulgarian couple Joro&Meli, we talked a lot of  greek mythology. I liked the company of Jaimey (Australia) & Philipp (germany), we had the proper Indian lunch and bought each other rounds of  sweets and then beer at night. Lovely time. But I never felt emotionally weak or lets say sad, saying goodbye to them. Probably because in these two months I had grown very used to of  saying good-bye. So I started believing that it happens only when you meet people while travelling, they become like a part of you travelling family and so you feel so emotionally attached  to them.
And then like a tv drama my theory changed again. In walks Olga.


Let me mention first, every traveler friend (yes they are not just travelers, they are friends now) that I met , were all older to me.  She is the first one of same as my age. And man! she is like a female carbon copy of myself. Very beautiful and charming girl. 
she mailed me while she was in Goa, and we exchanged  a few before she came to delhi. It felt like I already knew her, we had some sort of soul connection (don't know its literal meaning but what I meant was a deep connection. Clicked instantly) And I did a few things which I generally don't - like shopping for long hours, getting myself photographed (alone, like a model). We had a lot of fun and then again it was the saying good-bye time.
Honestly I wanted her to stay a little longer and felt a strange a strange emptiness the following day. Maybe because the last two days were full of walking, shopping, photography and a lot of talking. But yeah I missed her and then it was monday, college time. No time to think of emotions.


Coming back to the topic of good-byes and emotions, you know that they are going to leave at some point soon so  you generally open up to them. And when two people open up and share, emotions do fly. And then you feel of them as really close friends and understanding toward your feelings and thoughts. So, you don't want them to leave.
For example, I shared a few things to olga about my childhood which only my brother knows and she reciprocated, so I felt  really close to her.
But at the end you  do have to say good-bye with a heavy heart. I met and bid farewell to many travelers but Olga (and a few others) left a very deep and life time impression upon me.


so I say thanks to all of 'em for everything and changing me.


(ok this is the first time that i've not been completely honest with my blog. and by not being honest i mean, i have left out one paragraph toward the end of article, which i wrote in my draft. actually, it turns out that i am not all comfortable in sharing all of my feelings. Infact I would not have published it too, its just that i wanted to write a little somthing about feelings
kr.) 

October 26, 2011

Ra.One : disappointingly good

DISAPPOINTINGLY GOOD. The title must have got you confused but that's the feeling with which i came out of theater . Disappointing because i expected a real superhero movie and good because considering  the kind of movies indian cinema is making these days (normal human beings doing action stuff that may scare the hulk) Ra.One is better.

Now, having watched hollywood movies specially the superhero movies, i can say there are two approaches while making a superhero movie. Either you take the Spider-man (2002) road or you take the path of The Dark-Knight (2008). while Spider-man was all about a fast paced story with great special effects, Batman was a masterpiece which dealt with character (emotionally & psychologically) of a superhero.
Also there are a few key points that a superhero movie must have
  • good story line
  • secret of super power 
  • a great villain 
  • mind blowing vfx
lets see how Ra.one has performed on all the levels,

story : the weakest point for Ra.One were the loop holes in the story. The basic story has a lot of potential : a twisted father-son relationship, father builds a game to impress his son, the game's main program has artificial intelligence, it goes rouge chasing the son. But the way they dealt with details made the story lousy and unconvincing.
Powers : every superhero has some sort of logic behind possessing superpowers (atleast in hollywood) and his powers are well defined. Like superman can fly and has immense strength but he is not as fast as the flash, this was the problem with krrish (2006). In Ra.one there is no problem with powers possessed by G.One or Ra.One, but the question many people like me will ask is "how did a powerful game program materialized and entered physical world?". The movie lacks explanation.
Villain : there is no batman without joker, beacuse joker presents a twisted evil character which is balanced by the Batman. A villain should be mesmerizing, which srk and Rampal managed to achieve, given the conditions that it is a game program with one motive "to find and defeat Lucifer". But a villain has shades in his character, while Ra.One was plain kind of a one way train, there was never a point that it surprised (remember The joker got caught, but it turns out that he wanted to get caught).
VFX : one area where Ra.one will get 5/5. I remeber watching those military choppers in Lakshya and saying that "VFX n animations in bollywood sucks", while watching Ra.one today i was impressed with vfx.

COMPLAINTS: why do indian movies try so hard? why not keep it natural? this is a general complaint to bollywood (EXCEPT RAJNIKANT  AND SALMAN KHAN, they can do anything). Why putting songs where there is no need? Mr. Srk its evident that u worked on this movie but this movie could have been a roller-coaster ride if you had worked on details and cut the bullshits like CHITTI, hanging g.one upside-down n make a fan. 

In one line movie lacked details and could not grab viewer's attention. If they had hold the movie in one intense direction "Ra.One coming after the boy, and G.one protecting the boy n his mother" it could have been awesome. 

Ratings : considering only Bollywood standards 3.5/5
                considering Hollywood standard 1.5/5

If movies like Dabangg n Bodygaurd can be blockbusters then this movie deserves to be same.
i recommend this movie for kids, they will love it. And for the crowd which has only seen krrish & shaktiman in name of superheroes.  

October 7, 2010

novel that i never finished.

guys..here is the prologue of a short novel that i once started writing but never finished. i wrote something like 2 or 3 chapters. Anyways, here it is. hope u’l enjoy it….

Who says rock is noise? After a whole week of courtroom drama coverage, on the channel. Finally the case has ended and channel is looking forward to another hot story to make shows and burn TRP. So, i can enjoy some free time indulging myself in those rogue lyrics of AC DC.
i parked my car by the road side, without even worrying for traffic police. not even police cares in CP after 10’o clock in night. i took a beer out of my car, uncapped it and dropped the cap there only. i wasn’t enjoying the beer or the song playing on my ipod, hell i didn’t even look back to those two foreigner chicks who just passed by. All that was going through my mind was about that boy, the boy who today was declared free of all charges, by the court. Innocent, but dead. He was only19.
As i continued with my beer, i raised to a toast. A toast to friendship. All of his friends stood by him in the court, testified to prove his innocence. And my respect for police increased a bit, for that honest policemen who made efforts and saved that boy and his family from ill repute. I finished my report today by interviewing his friends..and rushed for a beer, but one thing kept on hitting me again and again – 19 is not an age to die.
anyways i shook my head, finished the remaining beer in one go, hit the the volume max and started walking to my car. as i was walking i didn’t realise that i was singing the song out loud. When i saw someone sitting on the bench ahead waving, i checked behind to make sure he was waving to me..yup, he was waving to me. i went up to him.
i said “ yeah, how may i help you.”
-the song you were listening to,it was Highway To Hell. right?
-yes, why do u ask?
-can i listen to it, please?
someone at 10:30 in cp, asks you to let him listen to a particular song from your player. Thats odd..very unusual.
he was an young boy, decent. Looking very sad. i gessed it was breakup or poor results so i let him, while i browsed through few emails on my phone.
after a while he handed me the ipod back and said – thanks, it was long since i heard any classic rock. that struck, what’s his problem, why is he so sad. so i thought i may engage him in talk.
hi i m nitin, probably u know me from live-24 X 7.
he replied- hi, i am ankit. And yeah, i know u…i am a big fan
he was speaking with great zeal .
- infact i am also doing…
he stopped, suddenly all the passion in his eyes was gone. he stood up started walking away..i put my hand on his back
- hey what happened?
and when he turned back, i saw his face for the first time in light. and i was struck with unknown fear, not that horror movie fear. it was indescribable.
i knew who he was, i knew this boy. he was ankit, accused for a murder and then was shot dead in public. he was the boy on whom i was making news reports for about a week.
And i was sitting with him on a bench in cp.
i was in a total shock – dude, you are dead? woh woh..man which brand was that, i am high in a beer only. I need to call a cab, no driving tonight.
-wait man, wait. i am real. real but dead, you are not hallucinating. u dont need to be afraid i haven’t learned those ghost tricks yet.
i was motionless, should i laugh on his joke. What if he takes my laugh in wrong sense, and what if he  gets angry if i dont respond to his jokes. what the fuck !! does ghosts crack joke? shut up nitin its not a ‘curious case of nitin bhatt’ but ‘the fucking case of mr. ghost sitting right in front of you.

June 19, 2010

what's coming ahead, am i going to return?

with navneet gone for bhopal (for his mba) today i went to the spot all by myself.
Once it was a meeting place for each evening...used to be a gathering of 5 to 6 peoples, then we all passed 12th and now it was time to move on to the next level..me and navneet took admissions. I moved to delhi and he stayed..others also moved on in their own way.
well the pond (the spot) was now visited only in june and jan..when i had my breaks, gathering reduced from 5-6 to 2 , but i never noticed any difference but today i suddenly realised that i dont know where am i heading to?
i want to do mba and then settle with a fat pay-check...but will i ever find any place like the spot.
walking, in faint light coming from the telephone exchange, breeze blowing from the far side of lake felt familiar, it reminded me of times when mind was totally tension free, when there was only 10 or 20 bucks in our pockets; there was nothing like wallet in our minds we were free spirits. today we have more than hundreds, good branded cloths, girlfriend experience-throughly(which we used to think of haha) and still unable to enjoy the calm of that breeze. mind is clustered with thoughts of jobs after studies, mba entrance exam. all these thoughts were wrestling in my mind this evening and my heart was tightly clinging to every bit of innocence floating in the air, the carelessness of the wind, the calm nature of the water.
i can very well see now the upcoming rat race, the 9 to 5 job schedule which easily extends to 10 and even Saturdays and Sundays. "just sitting there I framed a movie (or a novel) scene in which the guy had a job meeting or something in his hometown after which he goes to the places he grew and had goodtimes. now that he knows no one in the locality except few old pair of legs sitting at their front porch he goes to the usual abandoned mill and lights a cigarette and settles for a long session of walk in past memories. he takes a puff or two and then stands, looks around, throws the cigarette didnt even bother to crush it under his shoe and walks out realizing he has moved on. The boy he used to be and man he is are two different persons with different attitude toward life." then i realized that guy maybe me. now that navneet has left the town and my brother also leaving next month, my dad is retiring next year then he'll also leave this town will the evening breeze of THE SPOT be tempting enough for me to come back to this town? with no home and friends here will this be my HOME TOWN?

The spot (pond, from two different angles):







May 24, 2010

lost : the end || my explanation


lost explanation is simple yet confusing. one thing for sure when jack's father says to him that "there is no now here", means every character died at different times but there time is constant so they meet up together and move on together.
hurley says to ben that he was a great no.2 and ben replied by saying that- you have been a great no.1, shows that they both have done their tasks as the protector of the island and died...its just that they all are joining each other at same place and ame time.

We only know what the people on the Island know. We only know what we experience, and what the people around us experience.
There was no omnipotent narrator on the show, there isn't one in life. What they don't know, we don't know, what Jack doesn't know, we don't know and it's ok. Some things don't need an answer. We make our own destiny, our own kind of music.
Everybody needed the Island to help them find their own purpose, become who they were meant to be.
Claire wasn't ready to be a mother - the Island kept her until she was. Kate wasn't ready to settle down - until she was. Jin and Sun were denying how important they were to each other until they finally understood it. Hurley needed to know he was good and not bad or cursed, that nothing informed his life not even a random set of numbers. Sayid needed to prove to himself he was a good person, Ben and Sawyer needed to do this too. Jack needed to fix himself by fixing everyone else.
In the end the difference between the candidates and say Michael is that they found redemption on the Island, Michael didn't. He murdered someone for non defensive reasons, he remained flawed and that's why he remained on the Island.
This was always Jack's story. He was a Shephard, literally and metaphorically.
Yes the Christian allegory was strong, but I think there was enough to show that religion is not always the only qualifier for faith and that you can be destined for something and still have free will.
Walt and Desmond, they were special. They had their constants, they KNEW themselves and so were in charge of their own destinies. They couldn't find redemption on the island because they didn't need to be redeemed.
The candidates found redemption through free will. They chose their actions and sacrificed for each other. That was the difference between them and say, Ben. That's why Ben never spoke to Jacob, that's why Ben wasn't with them at the end, he was yet to make the sacrifice that would redeem him (though it could also be that he was yet to die), namely to be a father figure to Alex as she grows up in sideways world. Only once he's done that, once he's satisfied her future is secure, will Ben be able to let go. He needed affirmation, and looked for it from the Island but it was the people he thought were a threat to him initially that ended up saving him so to speak.
They were meant to be on the island because the island showed them their power, and everything they did from then on was based on free will.
It wasn't sci-fi, it was a good ol' fashioned character study, greek tragedy, whatever. To have focused on the mysteries is to have missed out on what the show was always about: the journey and experiences of this group of people.
The end was perfect. Think about it.

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